Beyond Degrassi: It Still Goes There
by Imaj Inaya
Summary: Post S5, Jay is determined to see Alex happy again, even if Paige has left to Banting. Palex. Emma has a serious problem that gives Jay more to worry about than Alex's emotional distress. JayEm.
1. A Fresh Start

Beyond Degrassi

Summary: After season 5, Alex is still in love with Paige. Jay doesn't want to be the bad guy anymore. They have a plan to change their future for the better. Palex, Jay Emma.

Disclaimer: Not my characters, not my base ideas. Just playing with things that belong to other people, as usual.

A/N: I love Degrassi. I love Palex. All of us Palex fans could use more Palex in our lives. So, here I go... first Degrassi fanfic.

Part 1: Let's have a fresh start, what do ya say?

Jay knocked on the door and waited for one of the Nunez' to answer, or even Chad. He looked no different than he usually did, but he felt like an all new Jay. He had always thought of himself as a smart guy, clever and all. Being clever had only lost him everything he ever cared about. The more he thought about it, the more he realized he had always been too selfish in all of his friendships. He had thought he was helping people, when only he had been destroying them.

The door opened and Alex stared out at him evenly. It was always like this now, Alex had a complete lack of enthusiasm to well, everything. She didn't say anything, she just waited for him to explain his presence.

"Lexi, hey. I've been thinking, a lot." Jay said, and paused for a snide remark that didn't come, "And well I thought, maybe, you would come out with me tonight. Give me a shoulder to cry on, or whatever, you know?" She didn't look like she was interested, and she still didn't say anything. "Just as friends, of course, I know you've gone lezbo and there is no turning you back, and that's okay. I just want my friend Lexi, to come out with me tonight. Please?"

Alex took a deep breath and sighed. "Fine Jay. This better not be one of your stupid scheme's to get me back, we are over, indefinitely."

Jay frowned. He knew they were over, despite that he still loved her. He just wished she would stop throwing it in his face. He nodded at her, showing he understood, then turned and started down the hall. He waited outside, with a light breeze rustling his hair. In all the time he had spent thinking, he had came to the conclusion that even though he wanted to be happy again, more than anything in the world, he wanted Alex to be happy.

Alex stepped outside and crossed her arms. "Where to?"

"Let's just walk, for now." Jay started out beside her, walking down a dark De Grassi St. They walked in silence, as he tried to think of where he wanted to start on all the things he wanted to say.

"Okay Jay, what is this really about?" Alex finally said, mockingly " 'I need a shoulder to cry on' Ha, yeah right. So seriously, what do you want?"

"I just wanted to talk to you, Lexi, that's all. I have a plan." He said, and as soon as those last words escaped his mouth he knew they were the wrong words to start with.

"Another brilliant plan huh? Like the one that got Jimmy shot? Like the one where I and several other girls came down with an STD!" Alex accused, and not quietly, "Or maybe like that plan that got what's-his-face in the hospital on suicide watch? You're plans can go straight to hell, Jay. And so can you." She turned and started back toward her house.

Jay rushed after her, "No, not like that! That's not what I meant at all." She wasn't slowing so he blurted it out, "I can't stand to see you like this! You were happy with Paige, you really were. Let's get your girl back, Lexi! Come on."

The mention of Paige made her stop. She missed Paige so damned much. Paige was off at Banting, her rich kid University, just like she had always dreamed of. She was never single long, Alex was almost positive her Paige was already someone else's Paige. Jay walked around her, clearly concerned.

"Why?" was all she could manage to say through a faltering voice.

"Why is obvious enough..." Jay sighed, "Look, do you want to hear me out?" She nodded. He put an arm around her shoulder for comfort and started to lead her off into the woods. He liked the woods, despite all the horrible shit that seemed to happen to him while in them. He found a place he liked to sit alone and drink at. He sat on a stump and patted a log for Alex to take a seat on. She did. Her mind was obviously on Paige again, her look was so distant, so sad.

"I'm sick of being Jay, the bad guy. I never wanted that rep, but I went with it. Now I can't seem to clear myself of it." Jay started.

"Oh, poor baby." Alex sneered angrily.

"Hey! You didn't get taken down with Spinner and I, and you should have. YOU actually dumped the paint on the dork." Jay snapped, and again, instantly regretted doing so. Alex had a talent for pushing his buttons. She glowered at him, but didn't seem to have an argument. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean that. I'm glad you didn't get caught, you know I'd never do that to you. How's your art coming along?"

"My art?" Alex raised an eyebrow.

"Yeah, you were always doodling in that sketch pad, or whatever. You were pretty good, even if I never said so before. Do you still do it?"

"Yeah. I do." She was still suspicious of his motives. He looked nervous enough, with the way he was fiddling with his hands. "Why?"

"I know this guy, he's got a shop over in Kingston." Jay smiled his clever smile, confidence over playing whatever was making him nervous.

"No." Alex said flatly, "Anyone you know is not worth knowing, I'm sure."

"It's not like that. He's got a legit tattoo parlor. He owes me a favor, from a couple years back. I could get you an apprentice job, Lex. In Kingston. I bet you'd be good at it, and then..."

"I could see her with her new boyfriend? In rich kid central? No Jay." Alex hated people trying to plan her future for her. She was born a gutter rat, and she would die a gutter rat. Why couldn't anyone else see that? It was more than obvious, so they must all just be blind. "It's not going to happen"

"I'll go with you. I could sure as hell use a new start. I can get a legit job too, you won't be alone. And if you hate it, we can always come back." he sighed, "Look, just think about it, okay?"

In Kingston...

Paige Michalchuk flipped the page of the text book she was reading. She was laying on her bed, resting her chin on the palm of her hand as she read the boring book. She had hardly anytime to do anything with all the school work at Banting. It was not like Degrassi, at the Harvard of the North there were no breaks. There was no time for drama. Who would have thought you would miss that kind of thing?

The text message alert beeped on her phone. She sat up and snatched her phone off of the night stand.

:Its Friday night. dinner and a movie: It was Robert, trying to get her out on another date. When she had first met him, with his charming smile and deep azure eyes she couldn't help but flirt. Then the work-load was piled on. She had blown him off for weeks, but he was persistent.

:Too much to do. Brunch, Sunday: She responded, his persistence deserved some pay back at least.

:deal:

She put her phone back on the night stand and looked back to her book. She wished that Matt, or Alex had agreed to move here with her. Starting an all new relationship took time, and effort. Right now, all she had any time for was flings. That's what Robert would be, whether he knew it or not. She smiled at the memory of Spinner's face when he realized she had just used him.

Hours passed, and she finished up the one assignment she had been working on. She walked over to her mirror, there was a very tired Michalchuk staring back at her. There was a time, not even a year back, when she wasn't alone in her reflection. Somewhere in the reflection, Alex would be there. Marco even started referring to them as Palex. She smirked and tried to imagine Alex sitting on the bed behind her, bored out of her mind. A pleading look to just go do something fun, anything fun. Fun. Paige wasn't sure she even knew the meaning of the word fun anymore.

"God, I miss you Alex..." she whispered to the mirror, as the image became blurry from tears welling up in her eyes.


	2. Change is Subtle

Beyond Degrassi

Part 2: Change is Sometimes a Very Subtle Thing

"I can't believe I've made it through the second quarter! The work itself was harder than the mid-terms, don't you think?" She paused, but not with enough time for him to really answer her, "Well anyway, you've got me for one whole night, so where are you taking me?" Paige looked over at Robert. He told her they were going to have a real night out together, and he knew just the place. They were driving through the downtown area.

"It's a nightclub called Elixir, I always have a great time here. Plus, since your 19 now, I thought you'd like to celebrate the end of mid-terms with a few drinks." Robert winked at the girl he desperately wanted to be his girlfriend. She was incredibly difficult to pull away from her work, but the times he was able to made it completely worth the effort.

"Now Robert, you aren't trying to get me drunk are you?" Paige teased, as she twirled a strand of her hair around her finger, and gave him a sweet and innocent smirk. She wouldn't be drinking, never again would she drink with a guy she didn't truly trust.

"Of course not," he shrugged, "But if you want to get a little tipsy, the bill is all on me babe."

They pulled into a parking garage and walked hand in hand into Elixir Night Club. Paige thought this was a rather strange choice of dates, considering how the man seemed to be hopelessly interested in her. She didn't think any of her mannerisms made her seem like a Night Club type.

They sat in a booth and he ordered them a round of drinks. Only after he had ordered did she inform him that she wasn't really a drinker. He looked worried about his choice to bring her to a club. It was an adorable expression, so she put an arm around him and kissed his cheek seductively. His eyes widened and he shifted his weight in the bench.

"What? I don't need to drink to see how handsome you are." She whispered into his ear, and poked his nose playfully with her finger. He laughed, and his charming smile spread back across his face. She giggled.

"Hey" A familiar voice said loudly from behind Paige. She pulled away from Robert right before he had made his move to kiss her. The owner of the familiar voice was none-other than Alex. Paige blinked hard, afraid she was loosing her mind. Alex casually dropped down into the booth right next to Paige, with a beer in one hand. "I wondered how long it would be until I just happened to run into you." she said.

Paige stared at her ex, confused and now far more shocked than Robert had just been. It was really Alex, here in Kingston, and venomous as ever. "Alex!" Paige gasped, she felt her mouth moving but no other words were coming out. Butterflies filled her stomach, her head spun with the sudden rush. Her face reddened and she couldn't decide whether she was furious or ecstatic.

Alex set her dark eyes coldly on Robert, letting her intimidation techniques run wild, "Hey Rich boy, you a teacher or a student? I know she likes the teacher type and all."

"I'm a student, my name is Robert." He smiled kindly at Alex despite her glare, "So you're an old friend of Paige's? I think she's mentioned you, Alex, great to meet you." He offered his hand for her to shake. She ignored the gesture completely.

"Right, an old friend. Good to know I was at least mention worthy." Alex said with a slight sneer.

"Ah... Alex, Robert is just a friend." Paige tried to explain with desperation in her voice. Paige didn;t want Alex to think she was over her, because she wasn't. She didn't want Alex to be angry, she hated when Alex was angry. Alex just scoffed at her desperate explanation. She didn't believe her, and why should she? She suddenly wondered why Alex was here at all. Alex didn't want to move to Kingston, that was supposedly why they had broken up. Paige sat up a little straighter, "What are you doing here?"

"Drinking, having a good time." Alex chuckled and gestured at her beer as she hopped back out of the booth. "I'll let you get back to your date with Mr. Preppy Pants. See ya around."

"Alex, wait!" Paige scooted out after her, "Not why are you in a bar. That seems enough like you, actually, but why are you here in Kingston? That is so... not you."

Alex smiled a smile of irony and looked at the ground for a moment. Paige waited for an answer, she wanted so much to hear the three little words that made her heart just melt. Alex pulled Paige close and spoke into her ear, "I told you I needed to do things on my own time line, I needed to figure out what I wanted. I couldn't stop thinking about you. So here I am, a love-struck fool." Alex's tone said more than her words, she had seen Paige kiss Robert, she stepped away from Paige "Don't let an ex, oh, I mean old friend, dropping by ruin your date."

Paige watched her slink away into the dance floor. Those were not the three little words, though all three of them were in what she said. Alex was in Kingston, a 'love-struck fool'. Paige wanted to scream, she wanted to cry. She wanted to hit rewind, and re-do the last half hour of her life. The waitress brought over the two drinks Robert had ordered. She grabbed hers and downed it. Then she took his and downed it as well.

"I thought you said you didn't drink?" He asked, more than a little concerned. Paige leaned on the table, already feeling the poison she just forced into her body. Robert couldn't help but ask about the strange girl, "Why did she say that ex thing? What did she mean by that?"

She put her head in her hands, frustrated and dizzy. "Alex wasn't just a friend, Robert. That's my ex-girlfriend, from high school. I don't know why she is here" Paige said almost too quietly for him to make out in the loud night club.

"Ex-girlfriend? That's something, I guess I'm clueless when it comes to girls." He smiled weakly. He'd never thought of Paige as that experimental. Either way, though, he could tell the whole encounter had been an emotional hurricane for her.

"I'll be right back." Paige said before she wobbled out to the dance floor. Robert watched her go, he assumed she was going to go find Alex and clear up whatever was going on. Jay took up a seat next to Robert as soon as Paige had disappeared into the crowd of people.

"She's something, isn't she?" He smirked at Robert, and handed him a new drink.

"Excuse me?" Robert asked, taking the offered drink from the employee.

"She didn't tell you she went the gay-way then, eh?" He patted Robert on the back, and leaned in real close "It's all good, who knows, maybe you can make it work to your advantage. You and her are already rather intimate, eh? I hear she's hot stuff in bed."

"Who the hell do you think you are, sir?" Robert scrunched his eyebrows together and frowned at Jay. Robert knew the guy worked here, he had seen him before. He had no idea the sleazy bastard had been that close to his future girlfriend.

"Oh." Jay feigned an oops face, "Well, I figured she had been with you longer than just tonight."

"What's that suppose to mean?" Robert was getting angrier and angrier by the moment. If this guy was another one of Paige's ex's he wasn't sure he could handle it. The guy gave him nothing but bad vibes, and yet he couldn't help buy believe what he was saying to him.

"It's just, you know man, Paige is one of those 'easy' girls. I just would have figured, if she was into you..." Jay shrugged as if it was just common knowledge. He looked at his watch "Wow, look man I gotta get back to work, but good luck with the relationship an all that"

He snickered as he walked away from the table. He had been prepared for this exact situation, and he felt it had gone better than smooth, it was almost perfectly played out. Robert and Paige were soon to be history.

Paige didn't find Alex on the dance floor. She went to the bar and had a couple more drinks, she asked a few people if they had seen Alex in the last few minutes. No one had. The bar tender knew Alex's name by description.

"Oh yeah, Alex. She's in here most nights, at least the night's her boyfriend works." The Bartender explained, "She's probably wandering around here somewhere."

"Wait, did you say boyfriend?" Paige interrupted what the man was saying. She felt betrayed, and heart broken. Alex had a boyfriend, and she was giving Paige shit about kissing Robert? She didn't wait for the answer. She couldn't. She would be happy if she never heard anyone ever say "Alex" and "boyfriend" in correlation ever again. She marched, at least she tried to march, over to Robert. He looked less than amused by her overt tipsy behavior. "I want to go." She demanded

He didn't talk to her on the way to the car, and she sure as hell didn't mind. Her head was spinning for more than one reason. He still didn't talk to her on the ride to her dorm, and she hardly even noticed. Alex was in Kingston, and she was here with a boyfriend. It seemed like some kind of cruel joke.

"I had no idea you were a dyke _and_ a slut." Robert said sarcastically as they pulled up to her dormitory. "I guess that just shows what you wanted out of a guy like me. You could have just said no, rather than leading me on like this."

"I'm not a Dyke or a slut! And I do like you!" Paige exclaimed as she drunkenly opened the car door. She was on the edge of tears, as she clambered out of the car "I can't even begin to process what just happened back there, but I _was not_ leading you on, I have a past just like everyone else does. So Alex is part of my past, I'm sorry I didn't tell you more about her. So sue me."

"Sue you? No, Paige. Break-up with you, yes. _Good bye_." He leaned over and pulled the passenger door shut.

"Break up with me? I wasn't even going out with you!" Paige yelled out at his car, as it sped away. She thought about throwing a shoe at his back window, for good measure but he was gone by the time she got the shoe off.

She stumbled up to her room and sobbed into her pillow for a bit. She thought she had missed the Degrassi drama, but she was wrong. This was horrible, and she couldn't stop replaying the scene at the night club in her head. Alex was here. Alex had no other reason to be in Kingston, she couldn't of been lying about that. But, then why did she have a boyfriend? A boyfriend, not even a girlfriend. Alex had said she was sure of it, that she was a lesbian. That what Paige made her feel no man could ever make her feel. Was that all just lies?

At the Jay Alex headquarters...

Alex walked in the door, finally. Jay had been up waiting for her to come home most of the night. He was out of work and home by 2:30, and now it was starting to get light outside. She looked wrecked.

"I'm sorry Lex" He stood to greet her, comfort her, console her... anything he could so. He hated seeing her like this.

"It's no big deal. It's not like she would have waited for me, it's not like I asked her to wait for me." Alex tried not to cry, she had spent most of the night walking and trying to get over Paige. "I broke up with her, it's all my fault. I can't do anything right, I don't even know why I listened to you. Why did I come here? Who the fuck am I kidding?" Tears escaped her eyes, despite her effort to keep them back.

"Don't say that Lexi, you're doing a great job over at the parlor, Sparx says you're great." Jay tried to pull her into a hug, but she pulled away from him, so he continued to console her with words "And with Paige, I don't think it's all that bad. I talked to the guy she was with."

"You what?" Alex's tears stopped instantly as her anger flashed back onto her face, she just knew he had tried something. Another bad Jay plan. "You didn't say anything to him did you?"

"Well... maybe a few little things, no big deal though, I did it for you" he explained, a little taken-back by her reproach.

"For me? What exactly did you 'do' for me?"

"Hey, I didn't think you'd get so mad about it. Jeez. I told the guy Paige was into girls, and I guess I might of made him think she was a bit of a tramp, but it's all for the better. He was furious, you should have seen it Lex. I bet you Paige is completely single again already. I took care of it."

Alex slapped him, as hard as she could. He stumbled back from the impact.

"How could you?" she screamed at him in his stunned state, "Paige is bi, and she is not a tramp. I don't want anyone to think that! You could ruin her life at University! You're such a fucking idiot!"

Jay rubbed his face where she had slapped him. He could feel his temper boiling, but he took a deep breath. He wouldn't act like Chad, despite Alex acting like her mother. He had so many things he wanted to scream back at her, but he would be better than that. He reached into his pocket and pulled out a fancy black leather wallet, without a word he slammed it down onto the kitchen counter. He walked away, went into his bed room and slammed the door.

Alex picked up the wallet, she knew who's wallet it was before she opened it. Inside she found credit cards, and ID, a few membership cards. He had several hundred dollars in his fancy Rich boy wallet. Alex felt sick, she hated Robert B. Porter. She wasn't angry Jay had hurt him, but she couldn't stand the idea of Paige being hurt by Jay's thoughtless actions. She took the money out of the wallet and threw the rest of it in the trash. The rich boy wouldn't miss it, she was sure.

A/N: I just edited this chapter, it wasn't working quite right for me before. Also, I realize the summary says Emma/Jay and I haven't followed up on that yet. I think it will still be a couple chapters before I throw Emma in the mix. I'd like any Emma suggestions anyone has, they may or may not help me out... thanks everyone who is reading my story, even all of you who don't review. '


	3. Ugly Obession

Beyond Degrassi

Part 3: Obsession, It's Not Always Happy and Fun

Paige walked into class late, again. She carried a binder with papers sticking out of it in ever which direction, as if she had closed it in a rush. The Professor didn't question her late entrance. For the past month she had been sparatic in her appearances. She sat down and tossed her bag into the floor, gaining a few dirty looks from people neat her seat. She tried to gather a pen and blank piece of paper to take notes with, but everything was disorganized. By the time she was ready to take the notes everyone was getting up and heading out of the classroom, and the chalk board was being erased.

"Miss Michalchuk, do you have that report on Capital Intensity for me today?" The professor asked after she had finished with the board. She began to pack up her teaching supplies.

"Um... I..." Paige tried to breath, this was the third time she had been reminded about the late paper and still she somehow completely spaced it. "I had it. But..."

"Paige, this isn't like you. Is there some kind of circumstance? I want to give you more time on this, but I just can't unless you tell me what is going on." The teacher really did want Paige to succeed, she knew she was a smart young woman with a lot of ambition. The last few weeks however, she was not acting it, and it was disconcerting.

Paige tried to form words to explain that she had just forgotten. She tried to find a way to say she couldn't keep her mind on her work. Nothing came out. She was moving her mouth, but no words escaped.

"I'm worried about you, Michalchuk. You haven't been yourself. You show up late to class, when you show up to class at all. You haven't turned in the last 4 assignments, and you aren't keeping up with your textbook."

"I know." Paige said quickly out of the side of her mouth. She swallowed hard and diverted her eyes.

"So, what's causing it? I don't want to have to flunk you Paige. You will loose your scholarship, and that is not something any of us likes to see." The Professor zipped up her briefcase, obviously flustered by Paige's reluctance to share whatever was dragging her down.

"Oh no. no, no, no." Paige pleaded, "Please don't do that. I'll remember, I'll get everything turned in, and it will be absolutely perfect. I promise." She could feel her eyes flooding again, she felt like such a joke, such a failure. She was loosing everything. Everyone was laughing at Paige Michalchuk, she could hear it in her head.

"I'm sure it will be, but this is the third time you have told me that. I need a reason to extend your due date."

"I have no good reason, Mrs. Griffin." Paige whimpered, "I really wish I did, I want to give you one. I really do. I'm just... distracted."

"Distracted? That seems to be an under statement." Mrs. Griffin sighed, "You have until Monday to get me that paper, or not. If you don't, I'm afraid there is no way you will be able to save your grade."

Paige nodded absently, then quickly wandered down the hall. She had other classes she was suppose to attend, but since her grade was in peril... she figured she'd just go to her room and start on the over due paper. Once she got to her room and opened up the word processor her mind went blank. She typed,

Capital Intensity

Why can't I think about anything else? You've taken over my mind. This is Capital Intensity. I know you have nothing to do with the market, and labor and higher wages, but who cares about all this crap? Is capital intensity really what's important? No. It's not. I'm messing everything up, and it's all you're fault Alex. Where are you? Where the hell are you?

"Damn it Alex." Paige said aloud and then erased everything she just wrote.

"Who is this Alex anyway?" A female voice asked from across the room. Her room mate was in, and she hadn't even noticed. Her room mate never slept in their room, she seemed to use her area as more of a storage place than anything. Paige didn't really know her, but from the little time they had spent together, she didn't really like her.

"Alex, um, she's uh." Paige tried to think of what to explain Alex as to the nosy girl.

"Is Alex the reason some people seem to think you're a lesbian?" Jackie Fairfield, her room mate and student of little accomplishment, assumed aloud. This girl seemed to know everyone's gossip, it was one of the more obnoxious bits of her personality.

Paige licked her lips nervously, "I guess so."

"Also the reason you've been completely loosing it? Cause, if you haven't seen yourself lately... you really need to look in the mirror." The girl gestured at their vanity table.

"I'm not loosing it." Paige said rather offended. She knew things were just a little messed up right now, but as soon as she found out why Alex was in Kingston she would be fine. She just needed to know it wasn't for her, or that it was. She needed to know, that's all.

"Could of fooled me." Jackie laughed.

"Don't laugh at me." Paige snapped, "It's not funny. This isn't funny."

"Sorry, eh." She apologized but not sincerely, "just thought maybe you should go find this Alex, and take care of whatever got knocked loose when you and Robert broke up, 'cause you seriously look wrecked."

"I've tried." Paige huffed, then explained "The club owner said her boyfriend quit, and Alex hasn't really been in since then. She isn't listed in the phone book. How else am I suppose to find her? Do you have any ideas little miss sticking her nose where it doesn't belong?"

"Hey, back off" Jackie frowned, obviously hurt by that last staement "Forget I said anything, alright?"

Paige looked back to her computer screen, she wished she knew how to find Alex. For now, she had to find a way to write this stupid economics paper even without her answers. She began typing again.

Down town a couple days later...

"Are you sure Sparx? I'm really not that good. What if I screw something up?" Alex was worried. Sparx just informed her that he was leaving her in charge of the shop for the next few hours. She always had someone watching over her when she did her work, what of she messed up on a customer?

"If you screw up, then just let them have the tattoo free. Tell them that another artist can fix it another day." Sparx said in his gruff voice, "And that's if you even get any customers today. It's been slow as all hell. I'll be back to close up shop, so don't you worry Sweetie-pie, everythin' is gonna be okay"

"Right." Alex nodded, "Only a few hours anyway, I should be fine. Yeah." She tried to reassure herself as she watched Sparx leave. She really liked this job, she would hate to loose it over something so stupid. The first hour was completely dead. With the boredom of no one to talk to, she made a game out of crumpling up paper and tossing it across the room into the trash can.

Then a small group of University girls walked in. She despised University students, because none of them were ever Paige. She was anxiously awaiting the day Paige would come in with her University friends. Then she could really talk to her, unlike that night at the Club. She had been foolish to not stay longer. To not hear Paige's side about "Robert". Now it was as if she hadn't seen her at all, and that was just depressing.

"What can I do for ya?" Alex said a little ruder than a Customer Service person ever should.

"Do you have any openings?" The tallest girl asked.

"Depends, what did you want done?" Alex slouched against the counter and raised her eye brows in question.

"I wanted a name, on my shoulder blade." The girl held her finders about a half an inch apart "About this big."

Alex pulled a book of fonts out from under the counter and tossed it down in front of the girl. "Pick one, what's the name?"

"Dani" The girl smiled. One of the other girls blushed. It wasn't hard to tell, Alex had a couple of University lesbians in her presence. Her attitude towards the customers changed visibly. The girl picked a cursive font.

"Yeah, easy enough. It'll be $80" Alex smiled, and pulled out a wavier for the girl to sign. She took the signed form, and the font book into the back room to draw up the transfer.

She concentrated on the tattoo, and was careful to not make a stupid mistake. If getting a name permanently tattooed on your body wasn't a mistake on it's own account. She knew Jay had a tattoo with her name on his chest. That tattoo had been a mistake for Jay, Alex just wasn't his girl. She wondered if Paige would have ever considered getting one. Alex would have proudly worn the name Paige, mistake or not, it was the name of her first true love. Man, she could be corny sometimes. She chuckled to herself as she finished up the tattoo.

"All done. Came out wonderful" Alex let the girl see it in the mirror before she put the gauze over the girl's fresh tattoo, "Almost makes me want to get one just like it."

"It looks great and it hardly hurt at all, I'm definitely coming back to you for my next one." The girl praised Alex as she stood up and pulled her shirt down over the gauze. "What's your name anyway?"

"I'm Alex Nunez, just an apprentice here" She smiled modestly, "I guess I could use some regular customers when I've got my own shop someday, though."

"Alex. Hey, this is kind of a weird question, but do you know a girl named Paige?" The girl asked offhandedly. She seemed to think Alex would say no, until she saw the expression Alex wasn't able to hide. A mischievous smirk grew on the girls face, "You do, don't you?"

"I knew a Paige" Alex answered lamely. Paige actually talked about her? Some random girl knew about Alex and Paige? Here she thought Paige was hiding that she and Alex ever had anything. She thought that Paige had just erased their past from her memory, and moved on.

"Well, I know a Paige too" The girl shrugged, "At least for now. I don't think she'll be my room mate for much longer, the way she's fucking up."

"Woah." Alex bit her lower lip, and asked the girl seriously "She isn't being ridiculed or anything? Is she?"

"Not really" The girl started to reach into her purse to give Alex the $80, she wanted to get out of here before she had to answer too many questions about the rude room mate she wasn't very fond of. Plus this girl was obviously not over Paige, all the insults that came to mind would only serve as bad air here.

"Don't worry about it, a friend of Paige's... it's on the house." Alex waved away the money, still curious beyond belief about Paige. "Why did you say she's fucking up?"

"Come on guys, we gotta get back." The girl said to her friends, then turned back to Alex "Interesting meeting you an all and thanks for the tat, seriously, but Paige's life isn't really my business. Maybe you should try asking her yourself. If you care about her at all, you will."

Alex was sitting on the counter staring at the wall clock when Sparx returned. She told him she hadn't had any customers, and asked if she could leave. He seemed to understand that she wasn't feeling well, by her mood. He let her go without question even though he knew she had just lied to him, about the lack of customers.

In her apartment she paced for hours. Most days she was able to get on without thinking of Paige more than a handful of times. For a couple weeks she had even managed to crush on a different girl, until she found out she had absolutely no chance. Tonight Paige was all she could think about. She had to talk to Paige, what if what Jay had done to Robert had ruined Paige's life?

Jay was gone now. He bailed on Alex, and left her with the shitty apartment. He called and left a message a couple days back, he said he was going back to Toronto. He hadn't been himself in months, he hadn't been angry or violent, and he had kept out of trouble for the most part. Then he just quit his job, and packed up his stuff. He said he wanted more out of life. He said that living with Alex, like this, was driving him insane. She wasn't happy, he wasn't happy, and it just wasn't working out for anyone. Typical male solution, just up and leave the woman with the rent. She had only stayed because she really liked Sparx, and the shop. It wasn't a bad job, even if the location was worthless.

She picked up her cell phone, a cheap thing she had picked up with her first paycheck. She sent a text to Paige's old number. IF Paige responded, she would call her. The ball was in Paige's court, All Alex had to do was wait. Patience was something she was getting very used to here in Kingston.


	4. Together Again

Beyond Degrassi

A/N: Dude, seriously, you guys rock! Thanks so much for the Reviews! I can't help but notice the large # of JayEm people readin', so I'm getting on with the JayEm part of the story right here. Jay wasn't in the last chapter, that was Alex's POV on what happened to Jay. Here's what's really goin' down with Jay (right after the Palex bit, of course).

Part 4: Together again, Bitter Sweet Romance

"I ran into your girlfriend yesterday." Jackie said nonchalantly while she fixed her hair in the mirror. Paige had been passed out on her computer desk when Jackie had come in. Now the girl was sitting up groggy and confused, she was searching on the desk for something now. What Jackie had said didn't seem to register.

"Oh my god." Paige squealed when she found her watch. She jumped up in a rush and started tossing papers into a binder, "I'm not going to make it to class in time!"

Jackie ignored Paige's sudden panic, as much as Paige had ignored Jackie's original statement. She continued, "She so didn't look anything like your type. _You_ and a cool tattoo artist, is there some down to earth Paige underneath the uptight prissy plastic Paige I know as my room mate?"

"Where did I put that report on Capital Intensity? I get everything done, and then I loose it. I can't believe this! I need..." Paige spotted it and threw it in the binder as well. Finally she acknowledged that Jackie was speaking to her. She was frustrated that right now, while she was late, the girl actually took interest in conversing with her. "Why are you talking to me again?" It had come out a little bit ruder than she had meant it to be.

Jackie turned to face Paige and rolled her eyes before scowling "_I _would never date you._ I_ don't see why anyone ever would. _You are such a bitch_."

"Now _that_ was just a little bit uncalled for." Paige scowled right back at her, taking the challenge she didn't have time for. "What is your problem?"

"I just told you I ran into your precious Alex and you completely ignored me, and then to top it off you insult me?" She picked up one of Paige's loose reports that had been left on the vanity table and tossed it. It fluttered through the air, separating into several pages before it found it's way to the floor. "I hope you do flunk out of Banting, you are a terrible room mate."

Paige swallowed hard. She tried to re-call what the girl had been talking about. Something about a tattoo artist... "How did you know it was her?"

"She had an expression a lot like the one you're wearing when I said _Paige_." Jackie sneered and tossed her hair over her shoulder. She walked past Paige quickly and made a show of exiting their room.

Paige gathered up the report that Jackie had flung across the room. Alex or not, she was going to loose her scholarship if she didn't get to class, and pronto. She ran all the way, and still didn't make it before the class had let out. Luckily for her, Mrs. Griffin hadn't finished packing up her stuff yet. She gasped for air as she slammed her binder down in front of the Professor.

"I did it. I finished all the work, just like I said I would." Paige started explaining in a panic.

"You're late Michalchuk, but I'll take them. We have less than a month of class left, I'd appreciate your presence for the lectures from now on."

"I'll be here. I promise. Thank you so much for all your understanding, Banting is my dream, I can't believe I almost lost it."

Of course, that was almost a lie these days. Alex was in her dreams, Banting seemed to be a background to what she really wanted. Any school could have been the background for Palex, if either of them had been willing to budge on their beliefs. Paige felt like an idiot, for not working with Alex's insecurities about the future. She wondered if Alex had come to the same conclusion, about Paige. She thought maybe that was why Alex was here. She hoped that's why Alex was here.

She turned in a few other papers that were past due, then returned to her dorm. On her night stand her phone blinked, it had been on silent. She had several texts, and even more missed calls. The battery was almost dead too. She had neglected the beloved object because of her rush to finish all those reports and essays. The blink caught her attention for the first time in days, so she checked her missed texts.

From Dave :y havent u been 2 class:

:R u ok:

From Melissa :answer your phone:

:are you dead? I want to go shopping, so climb out of that tacky grave:

:look, this is stupid. Whatever is bothering you, just get over it already:

:Hello:

:Hello:

From Robert : im sorry about what i said. can i buy you lunch:

:fine. dont answer:

From an unknown # :This message is probably going to be lost in phone cyberspace, but on the bizzare chance it isn't- Paige? Is this still your cell #:

Paige sighed. She didn't feel like dealing with any of these people. She told Dave and Melissa that she was fine, but very busy. She asked the unknown who they were. She turned the ringer back on, so she wouldn't miss any more calls or texts. She tossed the phone onto her bed and pulled out the phone book for the zillionth time in the past few weeks. This time she turned straight to tattoo parlors. There were about five listed in Kingston. Just as she had started to dial the first shop, the phone rang. She was startled, it was the unknown number.

"Hello?" She said cautiously into the phone. Since her incident with Robert at the Club, a prank call wasn't all that uncommon.

"I don't know why I assumed you would have a fancy new cell phone, with a fancy new number." Alex said sarcastically, but friendly enough. "How's the 4-year business degree plan going?"

Paige smiled a genuine smile for the first time in well over a month, "There's something very important missing from it, but I've managed to not totally mess everything up." She couldn't help smiling, finally hearing Alex's voice again made everything seem brighter "How about you? Are you still in Kingston?"

"Yeah. I was thinking we could talk about that in, like, person." Alex sounded just as happy as Paige was feeling. Paige was dizzy with the excitement of actually hearing the object of her last month's complete obsession.

"Sure hon, when and where?"

Back in good old Toronto...

Emma walked out the front door. She had no need to walk out of the basement window anymore, her mom knew she went out at night. Her mom had tried everything to stop her over the last few months. There was a stage of anger, with the ever so obvious grounding. Emma just didn't come home for two weeks, and that nipped the grounding in the butt. Then there was a stage of begging, of crying. Emma didn't come home for a month after that. Sure, Snake saw her at school when she felt like going, but that didn't matter. After school she was a phantom to the man, her step-father, and her mother. Finaly they came to an understanding, Emma would come home, but she would come and go as she pleased. She also demanded that the crying stop, she hated feeling guilty. It was like everyone was always trying to make her feel guilty, just because she cared. She really did care, about everyone, and everything. But for Emma Nelson, there was a point when she realized she wanted to care about Emma Nelson, and no one else. Just for a little while.

Maybe it had something to do with Snake getting sick again. Maybe it had something to do with the looks people gave her, knowing that she had been Anorexic. Maybe it was because she was held back a year, for fucking up while she had been anorexic. Maybe it was because of Peter, because Manny was right, Peter was a sick fuck. If Manny thought her boobs being aired on everyone's e-mail account at Degrassi was bad...

Emma, however, believed it was because she cared too much, and because she trusted the wrong people. Her new friends knew how to help her really live. She marched into the Ravine, more than ready for a hit with Kyle. She was kind of seeing Kyle, she thought. Kyle wasn't standing at the edge of the Ravine waiting for her. She scanned the area, and to her surprise instead of Kyle being around, old Jay Hogart was back. He stood when he saw her walk into the Ravine. She let a self satisfied smile cross her lips. Jay had been her original introduction to this wonderful place.

"Green Peace, I hear your a regular around here now, eh?" Jay greeted her with a friendly handshake and a sideways smile.

She cocked her head to the side and studied his eyes carefully while she spoke to him, "Jason Hogart. It's been a long time, word had it you went to jail."

He kept eye contact with her, those amazing brown eyes had a way of making him feel absolutely crazy. A giddy kind of crazy, something he wasn't used to feeling. He laughed a little at the jail comment, it wasn't the first time someone had asked that since he had gotten back. "Nah, just took a little trip east." When she raised an eyebrow at his story, he elaborated, "I was on a little mission to get my ex her true love back. Sadly, it turned out to be mission impossible."

"Then you're back?" Emma asked in an Emma seductive tone. Looking deep into his eyes she noted first off that his eyes were clear, he wasn't on anything. It was refreshing to talk to a man around here who wasn't so drugged up he hardly knew what you were saying to him. As for his mission to get Alex back with Paige, she couldn't care less.

"I might be" Jay nodded, going along with her flirting. He could really get to liking the new Emma. She hadn't broken eye contact with him yet, and he felt something electric in that look. Yet, at the same time, something seemed very wrong.

"Emma!" Amy yelled out urgently then ran up to the two of them, whatever was so urgent was lost by the sight of Jay "Jay? Is that really you?"

"Amy." Jay nodded to her, not with a smile this time. She had just ruined the moment.

"The hottest bad boy of Degrassi Street is back" Emma winked at Jay while she spoke to Amy. Jay hid his smile with his hand, feigning an itchy nose. "Speaking of hot bad boys, have you seen mine lately?"

That wiped the smile right off of Jay's face again, he glared without meaning to. His fist tightened. It was just his luck, some other bastard already had the girl.

"Oh Em! That's what I was coming to ask you about..." Amy looked a little ashamed to have been so easily side tracked, "Did he make it?"

"Make what?" Emma asked seriously, a little bit of anger edging in.

"You didn't even know!" Amy gasped, "Emma! Kyle OD'd. It was this afternoon, he was taken out of here in an ambulance."

"What?" Emma yelled, now furious, "No! No!"

Amy went to comfort her, but she was having none of it. She pushed Amy away and started pacing.

"That fucker! That bastard!" Emma continued to scream while she paced, "He had all our stash. He had it all. If he isn't dead already, I'm going to kill him!"

Amy backed away, and gave Jay a look that said she really hadn't expected this reaction. Jay and Amy watched as she broke down and cried, screaming periodically about how she was fucked. Jay asked Amy in whispers to tell him what she knew, without the rumors included.

"She was seeing this dealer, Kyle Larson. You knew him." She explained.

"Kyle? He was a smack dealer, that's not what she's talking about is it? She's not... a junkie?" Jay already knew the answer before Amy nodded that Emma had been doing junk. Jay was livid. Green Peace, savior of the environment, protector of the innocent... now just a fucking junkie. He slammed his hand down on the Picnic table and one of the boards cracked loudly. It shut Emma up, she glared at him from the place on the ground where she had started sobbing.

"Get up Emma." He demanded, grabbing her arm and forcing her up, "We're leaving, _now_."

"Don't touch me, you asshole!" She struggled out of his grip, "You don't know me, don't you ever touch me! Ever!"

"I know that this isn't you!" Jay yelled back at her, gesturing widely at the predicament that she is in.

"FUCK YOU!" She spat at him, and then smiled evilly in triumph.

Jay wiped the spit off of his face and popped a creak in his neck. It looked like Jay was going to be doing a bad deed, in order to do a far greater deed tonight. Talking was done now, he snatched her under his arm and secured both her arms so she wouldn't escape again. Without question from his former friends he dragged Emma Nelson, the girl of lost innocence, straight out of the Ravine.


	5. Give it a Try

Beyond Degrassi: It still goes there

A/N: Sorry these updates are so slow in the making. I'm working on another fanfic, and a Palex fanart piece. It's progress is on my myspace background, so check it out.

Part 5: Give it a try, it can't hurt – can it?

Alex shifted nervously as she waited in the little coffee shop. It was a bit more high class than the area she had grown used to hanging out in. It was right near the University though, so she figured it would be a good place to meet up with Paige. She looked at her watch again, the digital numbers gave her no peace of mind. Paige was late. Alex could count the number of times she had seen Paige late on one hand. Would Paige just not show up? She had thought she sounded happy on the phone.

The door opened, and there she stood. Alex smiled, the nervous feeling melted away instantly. This was a far better way to see Paige, by herself, rather than hand in hand with "Robert" at a nightclub. She was really beautiful, Alex wondered how she ever had the nerve to cut things off with her.

Paige pulled up a chair next to Alex, already explaining why she was late "You won't believe this, but I completely lost track of time. And by that, I mean, I kind of fell asleep without setting an alarm. I am so sorry. I'm so glad you're still here, I was afraid that you wouldn't be."

"It's okay Paige, take a breather. Relax." Alex laughed, she was just glad Paige had made it.

Paige gave Alex an unsure smile, and tried to do just as she was told, relax a little. Alex was just sitting there watching her, she looked pleased. Paige hoped Alex felt all these giddy feelings she was feeling, she hoped beyond hope Alex wanted her back. "I'll relax once I know one thing Alex, why are you in Kingston? Did you come back for..." she left the 'me' unsaid, she was afraid to hear 'no' as the answer.

"What the hell else is in Kingston?" Alex responded snidely. She leaned forward, putting her weight on her elbows. She looked Paige in the eyes, that way that always felt like she was searching her very soul, and said very seriously, "I made a mistake. I was afraid."

Paige didn't know what to say. She stared back into those dark eyes, and felt like her own were watering up. She didn't even know why she felt such a strong attraction, affection, just flat out need for Alex, but she did. Alex could stick her heart in a blended, and she would still come crawling back. She wanted a future with Alex. She really wanted it, she had ever since the day she came into that hallway to say she was ready to stop caring about the wrong things. She hadn't stop caring about the wrong things, she had only thought she did. "I'm sorry I kept pressuring you, that wasn't right. I should have been more considerate, I just... I wanted you to come with me."

"I know." Alex shrugged then reached over and grabbed Paige's hand in her own. It felt just grand to hold her hand again, she had been afraid she never would. She changed the tone of the conversation from serious back to playful, "I'm here. You're here. We're here. That's all that matters right now."

"What about tomorrow? next month? next year? Will we be together then?" Paige asked, she wanted to know if Alex wanted her. Really wanted to commit to it. Even if she didn't want to commit, Paige wouldn't turn down the now. She was ready for whatever Alex would drag her through, in 'the now'.

"I'd like to hope so." Alex scoffed, "and, just so we don't have to worry much about it, we'll just pretend the stars have told us we're destined to be together forever."

"The stars, huh? Since when do you believe in Astrology?" Paige teased back. They were going to be Palex again. Everything was right again. She couldn't be happier in this moment.

"After you tattoo that many of those stupid little symbols on people's bodies it really gets you thinking." Alex explained sarcastically.

"That's right! You're a big shot Tattoo artist now." Paige grinned, "How did you get into that?"

"Jay." Alex said simply, "It was all his idea."

"Jay! Was he working at Elixir? Were you with him again?" Paige shot out one thought right after the other with out pause, "Is he here?"

"He was here, and yeah he worked at Elixir." Alex answered with a bit of irritation edging in on her voice, "Do you seriously think I would ever even consider getting back with him?"

"The bartender said-"

"Paige. Look at me. This is me, Alex, hello? That bastard gave me Gonorrhea, nothing will ever change that."

Paige had believed the bartender. Alex was right though, she wasn't a very forgiving person. Alex and Jay wouldn't likely ever be a couple again. "Of course hon", She shook her head, "I'm sorry I wasn't thinking, so how do you like the whole tattooing thing? Is it totally icky working with people's blood and what-not?"

Alex's Apartment...

Emma was currently in a near-unconscious state, sweating and moaning. She had fought Jay when he tried to shove her in the passenger seat. She managed to knee him in the face, his lip was split. It was still bleeding. In the end she came with him because he told her he could get her a fix. It had been a lie, but she had desperately wanted to believe it. Her withdrawals hadn't even kicked in at that point. Now she was confined to Jay's room in Alex's apartment, and now she was suffering from her addiction.

Alex hadn't returned home yet, but they hadn't been there very long. He was sure she wasn't going to be miss sunshine when she found out he was back. When he took off, she made it sound like he was abandoning her. She took it all the wrong way, which wasn't all that new to him. The things he did and said were taken the wrong way a lot. Here he was helping Emma get over her addiction to a very nasty substance, and surely if her parents found out where she was he'd be the bad guy. Kidnapping, or whatever.

"Where the hell is the guy, Jay? I feel like I'm dying, I can't take this." Emma cried, "It hurts."

"He'll be here any minute, Em. You just hold on." He lied.

"You keep saying that. Call him, do something! Fuck! I'll call him!" Her voice raised again, her suffering very clear.

"I just called him. He's coming." He felt lowsey about this whole situation. She was in obvious pain, and there was nothing he could do. She shouldn't have done the crap to begin with. She shouldn't have been hanging with those guys. She curled up into a fetal position and cried some more. It was a terrible sight. He could hold out his lie until Alex got home, at least. Then maybe he could convince Alex to watch her while he went to go find some god damn methadone.

He kept Emma at bay for three more hours before Alex came in the front door. To Jay's surprise, Paige walked in behind her. Alex was smiling until she set eyes on him in his old doorway. Emma asked him if that was the guy, he said no. Paige gave Alex an inquisitive look.

"What the hell are you doing here?" Alex shot at him.

"Hey, yeah." Jay didn't know what to say to Alex, so he changed the subject "How's it going Paige? Good to see you, hope everything is going well at Banting."

"You don't live here anymore." Alex stepped up right in front of him. She caught sight of Emma in his room. She looked sick.

Jay reached into his jacket pocket and pulled out some cash, then he handed it to her "Here. My portion of the rent." he lowered his voice, "Don't give me a hard time on this, please Lexi, just let me stay for a while. I'm not asking for much."

Alex shifted her weight and put a hand on her hip. She nodded her head past Jay at Emma, "What's wrong with her?"

"Hey Greenpeace I'm going to call again. He should have been here by now. Give me just a sec, okay?" He said to Emma and closed the door between her and the three of them. "I brought her back here to get over an addiction, alright? I didn't know where else to go."

"Brought her here, do her parents know Jay? She does have parents, you know. Parents who care about her. One of our former teachers, the one with the temper." Alex was unrelenting, and she did have a point. He didn't like the point much though.

"What's going on?" Paige asked Alex more than Jay.

"Emma 'Save the Whales' Nelson is puking all over my spare bedroom." Alex explained coldly, "Apparently this asshole kidnapped the jacked up little girl."

"That's not cool Lex. I'd do the same for you..." Jay frowned, "I'm just trying to do the right thing here."

"You _can't_ do the right thing Jay." Alex snapped back bitterly.

"Addiction to what?" Paige interrupted, while she placed her hand on the small of Alex's lower back. Alex leaned into her touch, she was tense. She had just told Paige how furious she was at Jay for leaving her with an apartment she couldn't really afford. She also knew Emma wasn't one of Alex's favorite people.

"Heroin." Jay said under his breath, as if saying it made it worse. Heroin was a drug he had never even considered getting near. He had more than one junkie friend meet a nasty ending in one way or another. Nothing good came from junk.

Paige gasped. Alex rolled her eyes.

"Look. Lexi, could you watch over her for a bit? I want to see if I can find some Methadone on the street. It's the best thing I can do for her right now."

"No-" Alex started

"We'll watch her" Paige cut Alex off, "Go do what you need to do."

Jay smiled at Paige, Alex glowered at him. He said, "Thank you." and then he rushed out the door.

"Before you get all huffy on me," Paige smirked then kissed Alex. It wasn't exactly the romantic kiss either of them had imagined as their first getting back together kiss. When the kiss was over Paige poked Alex's nose playfully, "First of all you need the money, and he gave it to you. Secondly, I don't want to see Emma die or go to jail. He seems to know what he's doing, we should help all we can."

"I don't want to see her die either, but I don't..." Alex started to explain, but mid-thought she changed her mind. Paige was right, Alex didn't want to see Emma die either. "Okay, so we'll do what we can. Of all people... Emma. It should be me in there."

"Don't say things like that." Paige nudged Alex before she opened up the door. Emma looked up and saw the two of them.

"Where's Jay?" Her voice cracked, and she seemed to get angrier at hearing her own voice "Get out of here! I'm just feeling a little queasy, that's all. Go away."

Paige ignored her request and came in to sit next to her. Alex stood at the door awkwardly, and watched Paige try to comfort the sick girl. "You need help Emma." Paige started, "We know about the drugs, and we want to help."

"I'm fine." Emma retorted, "I've just got a 24-hour bug. I'm fine."

"You will be." Paige said, "We're here for you. We're your friends."

"Your not my friends. Just go away"

"So, why'd you do it, Huh?" Alex asked from her leaning spot in the door frame.

"What?" Emma asked, confused by Alex's sudden rude interjection.

"Alex." Paige warned.

"Smack, Junk, Heroin." Alex continued, despite the warning tone Paige used with her name. "You gotta be pretty damned stupid, or pretty fucking desperate to go to that shit. I sure as hell know you aren't stupid. So what made you do it?"

"Shut up." Emma responded. Paige tried to put an arm on her shoulders, but Emma knocked it away.

"Everyone knows you had that eating problem. Was this a new way to loose weight? I think speed would have been slightly more effective, if that's what you were going for... or-"

"Cut it out Alex." Paige snapped. Emma stood up, despite how much it hurt to stand. The pains in her stomach made her want to double over, and try unsuccessfully to comfort them. She was dizzy and nauseous, but she rose to the challenge anyway. Paige stood up when Emma stood, she looked like she was ready to catch her if she fell.

"Or maybe Simpson's little angel just got hooked on some bad habits- like sucking cock down at the ravine." Alex continued. She was never very fond of Emma, she couldn't help it. The brat was spoiled. She had everything going for her, and still she was always whining about something or another. Emma lived the easy life, why would she need an escape drug like heroin? Emma didn't know the first thing about having it rough.

"Maybe I like living my own life, maybe I like to feel good." Emma countered, walking slowly over to the door frame. She collapsed before she made it, the pain too much for her to handle. She glared up at Alex defiantly while she clenched her teeth in pain. Paige knelled down behind her, not knowing how to help without touching her.

"Yeah. Right. Looks like you feel great, looks like you have one hell of a special life." Alex taunted, "Damn, _I wish I was you_."

"I know my life isn't perfect!" Emma screamed, she covered her ears and closed her eyes "Stop picking on me! Leave me alone!"

"Emma, she's just trying to help... in her not so smart way." Paige tried to explain to Emma.

"I don't want your help. Either of you! Leave me alone!" She was still screaming. Alex backed out of the room.

"We're here to help. Jay will be back with something for you any minute." Paige said before leaving Emma to her own sorrows. Alex had put her in a state that wasn't very co-operative, now Paige would have to give her space.

In the living room she crossed her arms in front of Alex, "What was that about? I thought you agreed to help her?"

"I don't know." Alex mumbled.

"We've been back together for less than four hours, and you're already starting a fight." Paige uncrossed her arms and gestured in her exasperation.

"Paige..." Alex tried to pull Paige into an embrace. Paige let Alex hug her, but didn't hug her back.

"That wasn't cool. It only made things worse." Paige was angry now, Paige was nearly impossible when she was angry. Alex wished she knew why she _had_ baited Emma, she hadn't had the intention before she started. "I better get home." Paige stated evenly.

"Stay. Please, stay?" Alex pleaded, still holding Paige in her arms "Can we talk about this? I don't want our first day back together to end like this. Not like this."

"Fine. I don't really want it to end like this either." Paige twisted her mouth to the side as she paused to think of the catch, " I'll stay, but we're going to be there for Emma. You're not going to do that again, right?"

"I'll behave, I promise." Alex nodded like a puppy, who was just told 'be a good girl'.

"Okay, keep that promise. She needs friends." Paige took Alex's hand and lead her back into the room Emma was crying in, this time in hope's to actually help the poor thing.


	6. Inhibition Mistake

Beyond Degrassi: It Still Goes There

A/N: Yeah, took me a long time to get to this chapter and will probably take me a long time to get to the next. Sorry about that, '_Just died in your arms tonight_' has kind of been occupying my free time. And my Palex fan art is done too. So yey! Palex!

Part 6: Inhibition: The Thin Red Line Between Love and Hate

Emma rolled over to put her arm around Jay. Her arm fell on the bed. She groggily opened her eyes and looked around the room. Jay was already gone off to work. She stretched and yawned on the bed that was nothing more than a mattress thrown on the floor. She got up and put her pajama pants on. She tossed on a loose spaghetti strap top too. She didn't like walking around the house in her under wear, the way Alex looked at her creeped her out sometimes. Jay told her she was just being paranoid, but she didn't care. She could see something he couldn;t, and she was sure of it. She walked into the kitchen and opened up their fridge, and pulled out the jug of milk.

"G'afternoon, freeloader." Alex said from the kitchen entranceway.

"Quit calling me that." Emma retorted, "Paige doesn't pay for anything either, you know."

"Right, right... but Paige doesn't live here either." Alex countered. Emma glared at her and poured herself a glass of milk. She was over the junk, thanks to Jay and Paige. Just a week ago she had stopped taking the methadone all together. She was doing okay, but Alex sometime pushed her to her limits. Sometime she wanted to go out on the streets and start back up. Sometimes. "I don't see what Jay sees in you."

Emma didn't either. But Jay took care of her. Jay cared about her. "Your one to talk." She laughed, then took a nice long drink of the cold milk. Paige was way too good for Alex, as far as Emma was concerned. Alex just crossed her arms and frowned at her. Emma gave Alex a condescending smile milk mustache and all. The phone ringing broke up their stare down. Alex walked over and answered it.

"Nah, babe. I was just sitting around the house." She said. Emma scoffed. "You don't have class today? Cool, yeah. See ya then love." She hung up the phone and glared at Emma.

"What?" Emma glared back.

"Paige is coming over, so go make yourself scarce." she suggested forcefully.

"Why? Paige likes hanging out with me." Emma said proudly, after all Paige had become Emma's friend, "I bet if I go 'make myself scarce' she'll come get me anyway."

Alex didn't deem that worthy of comment. She started picking up trash, and tidying up. Emma finished her glass of milk, rinsed the glass and did as Alex had asked. She went back into Jay's room, where she would be bored until Paige showed up. About an hour later she heard the front door. There was an exchange of words, and then a knock on her door. Paige was here, and inviting her out already.

"Yeah?" She asked innocently, even though she knew what was coming.

"Paige brought you lunch." Alex mumbled through the door. So Emma came out, and the three of them ate the food Paige brought. Paige was really cheerful, she just aced a really tough exam, and she was completely caught up on her homework., she was almost done with her entire first year of Banting. Only six weeks left she boasted to them. Alex was doing what she typically did while Paige was around. She smiled a lot. She made some jokes, but tried to only make jokes Paige wouldn't get upset at her for making. She never spoke to Emma while Paige was around. After the lunch the three of them watched a movie together, it was some dumb teenage slasher Alex had picked up. After the movie Alex asked Paige if she was ready to go.

"I know I keep putting it off..." Paige responded, "But I still don't know if I can do it. Can we wait a little longer?"

"Oh, come on Paige," Alex groaned, "If you don't want to do it, we won't okay? But no more of this whole unsure thing! Just do or don't"

"I do want to." Paige said, "I do."

"Are you two still talking about those tattoo's?" Emma asked Paige, this conversation was endless. She hadn't heard it for a while though, so she thought maybe they had just gone and done it already. "I thought you went in to get those two weeks ago."

"I kinda chickened out." Paige bit her lip. This didn't surprise Emma, Paige had told her about how she was afraid of needles.

"Kind of? Hah!" Alex laughed, "Let's just forget about it, okay?"

"No, no... I'll go. Let's go." She stood up and walked over to Alex. She kissed her on the cheek then turned to Emma again, "You should come with us. I'll pay for you to get one too, if you want."

Alex gave Emma a dirty look over Paige's shoulder. Emma smiled warmly at Paige, "You know what? I've always wanted a tattoo, I'm in."

Paige giggled and fell back into Alex's arms. She looked up at Alex, who changed her expression from angry to unamused just for Paige's benefit. She was getting really sick of never having any alone time with Paige. They only had the few occasions where Paige spent the night, and even then Paige would just fall asleep as soon as Alex was finally rid of Emma. It was a constant irritation.

The tattoo thing was important to her though. It was a symbol of how in love they were. It was something akin to getting married, but without as much hassle, the way she saw it. It was a serious commitment. And they finally did it, Paige and Alex got tattoo's with each other's name in them. Alex had Paige tattooed on her arm, with a tribal band coming out from it. Paige had Alex put on her left shoulder blade, just the name. Emma didn't actually stay for a tattoo; before her turn was up she had taken off. She had only come along to upset Alex, the fun in that only lasted so long.

At Jay's work...

Jay was sitting leaned back in his chair with his feet propped up on his desk. It was a dull security job. He was suppose to sit in this little hut all day and get the names of people entering the complex. It was a storage complex, nothing exciting at all. Today he was called in for the swing shift, he preferred the night shift. They were closed for the night shift, that meant all the time in the world to sleep.

A sexy little surprise dropped by to see him though, and that made the swing shift perfectly alright this day. Of course, he didn't really like the idea of her wandering around town. He didn't exactly trust her to not find a dealer. "Hey babe, what you doing here?" He greeted with a flirty smile.

"Thought I'd come see what you did all day." Emma traced her finger along the glass window of the hut, then leaned at the door frame gazing in at him.

"Unfortunately all the excitement has already passed for the day." He joked, "I just finished filling out all the police reports, and mopping up the blood."

"Oh?" She played along with it, "How many people did you have to shoot down today?"

"Must have been near twenty guys." He raised the number by one every time they did this. "I'm gonna need some serious stress relief when I get home. You there for me babe?"

"Oh I'll be there." She said, her mood dropping, "Alex is driving me nuts. Can we please get our own place?"

"What did she do now?" Jay frowned, "She's always complaining about you, too. You're my two favorite girls in the whole world, babe, why can't you just get along? Eh?"

Emma sighed heavily, "Have you tried asking her that? She's the one giving _me_ attitude you know?"

"I hardly see her, man. We work complete opposite shifts, you know that. Just tell her Jay said to be nice, okay?" He walked over and put his hands on her waist, "And if she doesn't believe you I'll come home and kick her ass for you alright?"

"Really?" Emma said with more excitement than she meant to.

"No." He said, "But I'll tell her myself, or whatever, and that's almost like kicking her ass."

"Well.. I guess..." Emma rolled her eyes. She didn't think Alex would listen to either of them. She had it out for Emma, and for no reason at all.

"Well, you know the drill. Can't be seen here with me, I'll loose the job." He gave her a quick kiss, "Go on home and wait for me, deal?"

She lingered in his arms as long as she could. She needed the physical touch. It kept her mind off of the drugs she didn't have. She wished he could be home always, then she'd never miss the drugs at all. Jay was like her new drug.

Later that night evening...

"C'mon Paige..." Alex said as she walked in the door, "Just stay the night. Please?"

"Don't do that to me Alex. You know I want to, but I have to go." Paige responded with that hurt in her voice. Emma was used to hearing this fight. Alex never wanted Paige to go home. Paige sometimes gave in, sometimes she left anyway. Alex always had a fit of anger after Paige said no. Tonight was going to be a great night to tell Alex 'Jay said to be nice.' Hah.

"You don't _have_ to go." Alex retorted angrily, "Earlier today you were going on and on about how caught up you were. That meant extra time with me, right? Right?"

"I've been with you all day!" Paige was getting angry too now. As expected. The fights were always the same. "I got your name very painfully scratched into my shoulder with a sharp metal _needle_. What more do you want from me?"

"I want you to stay!"

"Look. I'm leaving. I was going to stay for a while, but now I know this just isn't going to end." Paige hugged Alex goodbye, but Alex refused to let go.

"Why can't you stay? Why are you rushing off to your dumb dormitory anyway? Isn't it better here with me?" She was guilt tripping again. She hated when she started guilt tripping. Tonight she really, really wanted Paige though. She desperately wanted her girlfriend in her arms. She wanted to wake up with her. She loved that more than anything in the world. Why did Paige have to be so difficult? Paige was prying herself out of Alex's grip. It was further proof of how unwanted she was, at least as she was feeling right then.

"Good night." Paige said with her own anger smoldering in her tone. She pushed Alex off completely, "I'll call you when I get out of class tomorrow"

"Fine. Whatever." Alex scowled. She walked over to the fridge and pulled out a beer. Paige scowled back, not liking that Alex always had to 'drink' her sorrow away. It was way too dramatic. Alex opened the beer and chugged it just to piss Paige off. It worked, Paige slammed the door on her way out.

Not ten minutes later the phone rang. Alex answered hoping it was Paige, but it wasn't. It wasn;t even for for her at all. She called Emma out of Jay's room. Emma hung up the phone feeling as frustrated as Alex. She went to the fridge and got out a beer too.

"Hey, those aren't yours." Alex snapped. Emma reached in and pulled out another. She tossed it to Alex, who had finished hers.

"They aren't yours either." Emma responded snidely, "And I'm sure he won't mind if his _two favorite girls in the world_ down them together."

Alex opened her beer and gave Emma a suspicious look "What'd he call to say?"

"He's going to be on shift until six am." She said with spite, "The other guy called in. And now I get to spend this wonderful night with _you._"

"Well at least he has a good reason to not be here." Alex mumbled, "Paige just ditched me. She didn't even need to go home."

Suddenly, it was like they had something to talk about. Two beers later it was almost like they were friends. Friends that hated each other, but still friends. By the end of the case, they were very close friends. As in, Emma was straddling Alex on the couch and they were totally making out friends.

Alex pushed Emma to the floor suddenly and sat up straight, "Wah am I friggin doin?" She asked herself, more than Emma, "Am in ruv... paige..." Emma climbed back on top of her and kissed her again. She let Emma lead the way, let Emma seduce her.

Around dawn she woke up with Emma wrapped around her. She was naked, her sheets were in a disarray. Her head was spinning, she felt sick. Flashes of the drunken night burned in her mind. She wished she could say she had blacked out. Would she be able to pretend it never happened? She couldn't tell Paige. She could never tell Paige. And Jay...

Jay was due home any minute. She jumped frantically out of her own bed and pulled Emma out using the sheet that was wrapped around her. Emma woke up mid fall and barely caught herself as she slammed onto the hard floor. She smiled up at Alex, she was still very drunk.

"Go to your bed... er... no... take a shower." Alex was freaking out. She fucked up. She fucked up bad. If Paige or Jay ever found out. They couldn't, they just simply couldn't. She helped Emma stand up.

"Calm down." Emma told her. Alex was hurting her arm the way she was tugging her toward the bathroom. "I can do it, okay? Back off."

So Alex shoved her in the bathroom. She hurried back into her room and threw on some clothes. Just as her shirt made it over her head she heard the front door. Her head was spinning, and he limps felt heavy. This was way too much pressure in the fucking morning. If Paige had just stayed the god damn night... She punched a wall. It wasn't Paige's fault, it was her own. She was the screw up, not Paige.

"Alex?" Jay called out when he heard the punch to the wall, "You're awake?"

"Yeah..." Alex forced herself to walk out to greet him, "I've got to be at work in a few hours."

"Yeah, at eleven. It's six thirty." He told her. She was acting strange, he thought she seemed edgy "Are you okay?"

"I had a fight with Paige last night." She said quickly.

"Oh." Jay frowned, "I'm sorry. That sucks" He didn't know what else to say about that. Paige and Alex were Paige and Alex. They seemed to have cat fights every couple of weeks. They were always right back together though.

"Yeah... you know what? It's early, and I have a really bad hang over." She told Jay, backing back into her room, "I'm going to get some more sleep."

"One thing, Lex," He said, he looked tired. Working that 16 hour shift had done it's damage, "Just real quick. Um, could you give Emma a little bit more patience? I know you guys have your differences, but I love you both. You're my best friend, she's my girl. Think you could handle that?"

"Oh yeah." Alex nodded, "I think we've got that under control. We had ah... heart to heart last night. Yeah. Sleep would be good, for both of us. So uh, yeah." She closed her door.

She fell down onto her bed and stared at the ceiling. She was a bad girlfriend. She was a horrible girlfriend. She didn't deserve Paige, everyone was right. Paige was such a good girlfriend, she always had been. Alex listened as the shower shut off. She listened to Jay and Emma's voice carrying through the walls. Emma was flirting with him. By the fact that they had sex shortly after she got out of the shower, Alex supposed Emma was going to keep her mouth shut too. At least around Jay she would. Alex hoped to god Emma wouldn't use this against her with Paige. She couldn't let Paige find out. Paige was her life. Paige was like the sun in her miscible world, she was the whole reason to wake up in the morning. She was the reason to smile. Now Emma could ruin everything. Alex couldn't sleep a wink, no matter how tired and wrecked she felt.


	7. Forgiveness & Trust

Beyond Degrassi: It Still Goes There

Part 7: Love is Forgiveness; Love is Trust

Paige waited outside of Alex's door. She had knocked three times, and finally Alex had yelled "just a minute". She knew she should have called first but she wanted to surprise Alex. Alex had been acting distant since their last fight, and she was hoping a special surprise visit would help patch up the problem. She hated that she hurt Alex so easily, she knew she was clingy. They were both clingy. As soon as the year was up they could so start discussing the big "move-in together" plan. Then they wouldn't have any reason to fight about being apart.

Alex pulled open the door and gawked at Paige. Paige looked down at herself, she was dressed up all sexy, just for Alex. She loved when Alex looked at her like that. She looked back at Alex's expression and grinned.

"Paige..." Alex whispered, barely able to register what was happening. "What... What are you doing here?"

Paige pushed Alex out of her way and let herself in, she still had the huge grin on her face, "I thought I'd surprise you hon. Surprised?"

Alex turned and shut the door behind her, she couldn't take her eyes off of Paige. She looked... amazing. This was such a surprise, she was excited but Alex felt like a complete dog. Emma was in her room again. Emma was in her room a lot these days. After she had done it the first time, doing it again was just too easy. It was Emma's doing really, she knew exactly what buttons to push. Alex licked her lips nervously and tried to give Paige a sincere smile, "More than you could ever know. Um... don't you have finals tomorrow?"

"I do." Paige winked at Alex, "But not until noon."

"So... you're staying the night?"

"Don't sound so cheerful about it." Paige frowned, noticing that Alex's mood was not anything like she had expected it to be. Something was wrong, she was going to get to the bottom of it, "What's wrong?"

"Nothing." Alex said for the hundredth time this week, "Nothing's wrong." In her head she thought, _everything is wrong. So wrong_. Also for the hundredth time this week.

"Uh-huh." Emma interjected from Alex's doorway. At least she was fully clothed, leaning there watching their interaction with bemusement. Alex wanted to strangle the little whore, this was all her fault.

"Stay out of this." Alex snapped. Emma rolled her eyes and suddenly found her fingernails to be of interest instead. She wasn't going to leave, this fight actually involved her.

"Stay out of _this_?" Paige echoed, she gestured at Emma and then at Alex, "By there being a _this_, there is obviously something going on. Why are you keeping secrets from me? What happened Alex? What's wrong with you?"

"Nothing's wrong babe." Alex said as casually as she could. She decided that sweet talking may get her out of the trap she was laying for herself. She put her arms around Paige's waist, and said "I love you. I love you so much. Why would I keep secrets from you?" She kissed Paige's neck. Paige wrapped her arms around Alex but didn't melt into the kisses as Alex was hoping she would. Paige's attention was on Emma, who looked frustrated.

"You wouldn't lie to me would you?" Paige asked coyly, she was going to judge Emma's reaction to their conversation. She could tell Emma knew something.

Alex paused before she answered. It wasn't a good sign, as far as Paige was concerned. She finally said very weakly "Never." It wasn't a convincing never, and Paige knew she was lying.

"Never ever?" Paige played it off as flirting. Emma stopped looking at her nails and was grudgingly looking back at the two of them. She didn't miss Paige's stare, but Paige's tone confused her. If Paige knew, why would she go about things this way?

"Never ever, ever." Alex said a little bit more confidently this time. She went to look Paige in the eyes. It would have been one of the first times she had in the last two weeks. This is how she realized Paige wasn't looking at her, Paige was having a stare-down with Emma. Alex felt the panic rising in her chest. It was a tight and suffocating feeling, like her lungs forgot how to work properly. Paige was toying with her, she had noticed Emma in her door way. She knew. Or she was close to knowing.

"Have something on your mind, Em?" Paige asked finally. Alex watched the interaction, like a helpless child. She had no control over what Emma said right here, and if she told Paige... Paige would... hate her. Alex clinched her jaw, anxiety eating away at her by the heavy seconds of silence between the two other girls.

"As a matter of fact I do." Emma said smugly. Alex could feel the tears already starting to well up in her eyes, she knew Emma was going to blow it. She wouldn't blame Paige though, she knew she deserved whatever Paige did to her. She hoped Paige would hit her. Maybe Paige would just hit her and they could stay together. She would do anything for that to be the outcome instead of another separation.

"A Penny for your thoughts?" Paige persisted.

"No." Emma shrugged. Paige's expression fell. Alex sighed with relief, only to realize too late that was a bad thing to do. She watched Emma pick up her purse from the counter and walked past the two of them to the door. She gave Alex that wicked smile she was so practiced at, and said sarcastically "You two have a good night."

The door closed and Alex could feel Paige's eyes on her again. She looked at the floor. What was she suppose to do? Just tell her? '_oh yeah, babe, I've been sleeping with Emma please don't dump me.' _There was no way she could do that. She let her arms drop from their resting place on Paige's hips. She couldn't sleep with Paige and not tell her either. She was in a predicament, and she didn't know what to do. She almost wished Emma _had_ told Paige, then she wouldn't have to. She felt a tear roll down her cheek. Paige's soft hand caressed her cheek, she wiped away the tear. Paige was always looking out for her, Paige was such a god damned good girlfriend.

"Hon, come here." Paige lead Alex by her hand to the couch, she had Alex sit down. She pulled Alex's head to her chest and stroked her hair, "You know I love you. You're the most important thing in my world, you know that. It's all about you, it's all about us. I trust you with everything-"

"You shouldn't." Alex cut in sharply, the hurt she was going through so clear in her voice Paige could feel it. She didn't know what happened to Alex, but she desperately wanted to help her get through it, "You shouldn't trust me. I'm a terrible person, a liar, a cheat, a criminal, a fucking gutter rat. It's in my nature or something."

"That's not true Alex." Paige said softly, still stroking her hair.

"It is true. I've done something beyond terrible." Alex whimpered, "Something that's going to hurt you. Something that's going to hurt us. I never wanted to, and honestly it doesn't even make sense. That's why I'm bad, Paige. I'm ruining us. I'm destroying us."

Paige forced Alex's head up, forced her to look her in the eyes. Those dark orbs always took Paige's breath away, they held so much emotion. Right now it was fear, almost terror that Paige saw so clearly. Whatever she had done she certainly wasn't proud of it, though by the sound of it, that wasn't going to make it any better. Paige wasn't stupid, she surmised that Alex had probably cheated. It was most likely some crazy drunken night with her ex-boyfriend. He had no doubt told Emma, hence how she knew. It hurt to think about. The idea of that filthy bastards hands on her Alex... it made her sick. That aside, though, it wasn't so horrible that Alex should be terrified of Paige's response. Paige would be there for her, Paige loved her.

"Say it." Paige told her, "Just say it. I promise I won't let it destroy us. We'll find a way to get past it, okay? We've been together for a grand total of like ten months, how is some silly little mistake going to ruin that?"

"I can't." Alex choked out.

"You can." Paige gave her a helpful half-smirk. She was hoping Alex could see how concerned she was. How she wanted to help, that she wasn't badgering for anyone but Alex.

"_I'm sleeping with Emma_." Alex said quickly with a wince. Hearing herself say it was terrible. It was even wore than thinking it. Paige's eyes widened in shock.

"Oh." She said. She hadn't expected that. Not only was it another woman, but it was someone she thought Alex despised. It was confusing, especially the present tense used in the verb. Had Alex meant to use the present tense with that verb?

"Look, I know you probably want to leave, I know you probably want to never see me again- but before you do-" Alex could see that her wishful thinking on just being hit was not a likely option anymore. Paige didn't look furious, she looked broken, she looked betrayed. That look was a hundred times worse than any fury could have been. It made her want to crawl into a deep dark hole and hide.

"No. What I do want to know is why? Why?" Paige said quickly in response, the hurt as evident in her voice as it was on her face.

"I'm an idiot." Alex could feel the warm tears steaming down her cheeks. There was no stopping it now, she was going to loose everything she ever wanted over some stupid lustful nights. "I- I- got insecure and I got wasted and-and- if you're really drunk... I mean... she's blonde too... and-no- that's not what I wanted to say- I- uh-"

"Sleep**_ing?_**"

The words caught in Alex's throat. It was like there just weren't words to explain this mistake. She buried her head in her hands and cried. She couldn't look at Paige with that expression of betrayal. She had a sudden dreary thought that she hadn't had in years. Life wasn't going to be worth living like this. This feeling of shame was far worse than any other emotion she had ever felt. There wouldn't be a day ahead of her that she could soberly face without that shame haunting her. If Paige left her tonight, she should do the right thing... she should just...

"Will you stop?" Paige asked quietly, taking a deep breath herself. Her heart felt crushed, she felt used. She could see Alex breaking down far worse than herself however. Alex regretted it, and Paige knew it. She needed a commitment to stop the present tense and make it an ancient history tense of the word 'sleep' though. Alex couldn't keep sleep_ing_ with Emma.

"What?" Alex asked choking on her tears. She thought Paige was asking her to stop crying, so she did her best to stifle the sobs.

"Stop sleeping with her." Paige explained, it came out as more of a command. It felt kind of like a command too, she needed Alex to be hers and hers alone.

"You're not breaking up with me?" Alex looked up at Paige again. The stricken look of betrayal had passed, she looked more angry now. Alex felt her heart leap with joy at the look of anger.

"Will you stop?" Paige repeated her original statement.

"Of course. Well..." The image of Emma seducing her haunted her. Without Paige there Emma would have the chance to do it again, and then all this bull-shit would continue, there was only one solution "... move in? Please?"

"You need me to move in for you to stop?" Paige asked, irritated.

"No." Alex tried to explain the best she could, "I just don't trust myself when I'm not with you Paige. When I'm with you I'm a better person... but when I'm alone... do you see what I'm saying?"

"Fine." Paige agreed, "Does Jay know about... you know."

"I don't think so" Alex shrugged, that hopeless dark feeling fading away now. "I've only seen him a couple times since it all started..."

"You're going to tell him. Tonight." Paige said, "And then I'll move in... and I swear Alex if I even see you giving Emma a _look_..."

"I'll do anything you ask." Alex agreed, "_anything._"

To be Continued...


	8. Or Violence?

Beyond Degrassi: It still Goes there...

A/N: Paige is pretty friggin' loyal, Spinner treated her poorly and she took it. Matt treated her poorly and she took it. I know a lot of you disagree on how she responded to Alex's confession, but honestly I see Paige as acting out in a more subtle way that just flat out screaming at Alex. Anyhow, that's my opinion, and I be the author.

Part 8: Love is... violent?

Alex laid in her bed alone. She listened to the TV through the wall. Paige was watching the news of all things. Paige hadn't reacted in anyway Alex had expected, but she wasn't being particularly friendly either. The way she was acting kind of reminded Alex of the time she had got into that stupid fight with Hazel. She wished Paige would come lay down with her.

Paige wasn't watching the TV. She couldn't stop picturing Alex and Emma... together. It was grotesque. How could Alex do that to her? Even if Alex was pretending it was her, there was no way it was alright. Sure it was a mistake, and it was nothing Paige would let destroy them. Not unless it wasn't over. Or happened again. And there the image was again, Emma and Alex rolling around on Alex's bed. Paige would never be able to sleep on that bed ever again. It should be taken out and burned.

Emma came home. Paige glared daggers at her the moment she stepped into the apartment. The smile on Emma's face was replaced by a look of confusion. She was scanning the room for Alex. She tried to lighten the mood with a joke, "Did you kill her or something?"

Paige stood up. She didn't think that was funny. This wasn't a time for jokes. She crossed her arms, "Let's hear you're side of it," She demanded.

"My side of what?" Emma asked innocently. Alex peeked her head out of her room.

"What the fuck you thought you were doing when you started _fucking_ my girlfriend!" Paige snarled at her. It wasn't something Alex had ever seen Paige do, but something she had imagined happening to her when Paige found out. Why Emma? Why not her? Emma swallowed hard, not knowing what to say to the short irate blonde in front of her. "_Well_?"

"I'm going to bed." Emma muttered, averting her eyes from Paige. She started to her room, but Paige blocked her way. She tried to side step around her, but Paige was persistent. It was making Emma angry too. What right did this woman have to tell her off? Alex had a choice, it wasn't like it was all Emma's fault or anything. Maybe Paige should have picked a better girlfriend. She glared at Paige at last, daring her to ask again.

"I think I deserve an explanation, don't you?"

"If that's what you really want." Emma smirked menacingly; Paige nodded. "You're not hot enough for Alex. You're not enough of a freak Paige, you're no fun. You'll never be her type, not truly. You're too normal, too goody-goody. Jay could have told you the same damn thing, but you wouldn't have listened... because you think you're so damned smart. Banting Princess Paige, you'll never be able to meet all of Alex's _needs_. You're just too boring. Now me on the other hand, _I can._"

Paige felt like she had been slapped. Those accusations stung. She glanced over at Alex, who looked angry too. Was she angry that Emma had revealed her secret, or angry that Emma would claim such a thing? Paige hadn't ever felt more offended, not even when Ashley had called her a hag on two levels. Emma tried to side step around her again, she let Emma pass.

Paige suddenly grabbed Emma's hair and pulled her back by it. Emma let out a surprised scream just before Paige's fist met up with her face. Emma reached out and grabbed Paige's hair to retaliate from the blow. Paige punched like a girl, it was obvious Paige wasn't much of a fighter. Emma's pulling on Paige's hair made her stumble backwards, which pulled Emma's hair even harder. She toppled down on top of Paige, and made sure to knee her hard in the groin on her way down. Paige let go of her hair finally so she could try and choke the girl on top of her. Emma slammed Paige's head into the ground using her hair. Alex violently pulled Emma off of Paige and threw her against a wall. A picture wobbled and fell of the wall and to the floor with a clunk.

She let Paige stand up while she stood holding Emma against the wall. It was obvious by Alex's stance she cared far more about protecting Paige than anything else. Emma spit out some blood from where her teeth had cut the inside of her mouth. She sneered at Alex, "You wouldn't have come to me if she was enough for you. Who are you kidding?"

"Fuck you." Alex growled.

"I knew you hadn't had enough of me." Emma flipped her hair casually before grabbing Alex's head and forcing a kiss on her. Paige had imagined it, and now she was seeing it. Alex held her mouth closed as Emma tried to kiss her. That was just going too far, she grabbed Emma's chin and pushed her head forcefully against the wall too.

"Oh, I've had way more than enough of you." Alex whispered through clenched teeth, "And I'm through with you. Don't ever touch me or Paige again, or I swear to god I'll break your face."

She let Emma go. Emma immediately threw a punch at Alex, but missed as Alex dodged the blow. Alex returned the punch with a right hook to Emma's jaw. Emma hit the wall again, but wasn't giving up yet, she shook it off. She threw herself at Alex, elbowing her in the sternum. Alex snarled and looked for another opening. She wasn't practiced at wrestling, she wouldn't do well if she let Emma drag her to the ground. She couldn't breath, that elbow had knocked the wind out of her. She had no choice, she head butted Emma. The loud crack of bone on bone made Paige scream "Alex!". Emma crumbled to the ground, unconscious. Alex stumbled backwards and tripped over the coffee table. She hit her head on the couch. She was still trying to gasp for air while Paige helped lift her up onto the couch.

About an a hour later...

Jay walked in to see Paige and Alex sitting on the couch, ice bags in hand. Alex didn't look much like she wanted the ice bag. Paige had hers propped up on her head. Laying in the middle of the floor was his girlfriend, passed out with an already bruising jaw. He carefully crossed the room, watching Paige and Alex watch him. The fact that no one had said anything had him a little spooked. You would think that someone would tell you what happened when you walk into a situation like this. He lightly patted Emma's face, and murmured her name. She groaned in response. He looked over the rest of her, looking for any sign of other injuries.

"She might have a concussion" Paige told him, "When you black out after being hit in the head you should be taken to the hospital immediately."

"And how exactly did she get hit in the head?" Jay growled at Paige. Her tone had not been friendly, and he was worried about Emma. He already knew that obvious tid bit of information, he wasn't an idiot.

"She attacked Paige." Alex told him.

"Actually, hon, I attacked her." Paige corrected. Jay raised his eyebrows. What the fuck was going on? "You should tell him what you promised you would." She reminded Alex.

"Now?" Alex was shocked. Jay would flip if she told him now. Paige gave her that look. She had to do it now. She sighed and threw the ice bag aside. "Jay, Emma and I..."

"I already know you two don't get along and all that, but seriously Lexi... you decked her a little harder than I'm sure she deserved, hell I'd say _a lot_ harder..." He gestured at Emma underneath him. He was so sad. Alex knew how much he wanted them to get along. She also knew how worried he must feel, if Paige had been knocked unconscious...

"Yeah about us, Jay, Emma took your advice. Our relationship kind of evolved..." She had no nice way to put it, "...into fuck buddies."

Jay's stared at her blankly. His eye twitched and then he smirked, "Good one, Lex. You and Em, haha. Almost had me."

"She's not joking." Paige said seriously, obviously not happy about it either. The look on her face was proof enough for him. Alex was cheating on her beloved girlfriend, with his hot ex-junkie girlfriend. For some reason every girl he touched had lesbian tendencies.

"Woah." He said, it was over-welming. He should be pissed, but something was itching at the back of his mind. Something that felt like karma returned. Amy. Alex's best-friend. "She... you..." He couldn't seem to word what he wanted to say. He shook his head to clear it.

"I know it's fucked up. She's a fucked up little girl, and you seriously need to watch her. It's over, it's done with, you better make sure she doesn't go to someone else for her kicks." Alex ranted.

"And what about you?"

"Yeah, I'm fucked up too. It's not like you hadn't done something like this to me, so don't you fucking dare take it out on me. Don't you dare. At least I didn't give you a fucking STD."

"I'm going to take her to the hospital." Jay sighed, "When she gets out we'll discuss her going back home. I wanted to help her... and then I went and fell in love or whatever. I guess that distracted me from the truth... I can't save her."

"You helped her with the heroine." Paige offered her sympathy, with a half hearted smile. "That was something."

Jay shook his head. He knelt down and lifted up Emma's arm. She groaned again, but didn't stir. He pointed at a spot on her arm. "She's using again. She's been acting strange for days, all secretive and deceptive and stuff. Now I know why. Since she was able to hide the one secret, why not two? Sometimes... sometimes..." He frowned and pulled his hat off. He ran his other hand through his hair nervously. He didn't finish his sentence, he put the hat back on and heaved Emma into his arms carefully.

"Do you need help?" Alex asked him. He gestured at the door with his head. She did as he asked and opened it for him, she followed him down and opened the car door for him too. He didn't look betrayed like Paige had looked, he looked like he had just gotten a lecture on how much of a disappointment he was. "I'm sorry." Alex said to him, "I mean it, I really am sorry -for everything."

"Go explain yourself to your girl" Jay told her, "You were right about what I did to you. It was wrong, and I knew it, but I did it anyway. I was stupid, and I regret it more than anything. Believe me Lexi, if you make it through this with Paige you'll be a step better off than me. See you around Lex." And with that he got into his car.

Alex turned and went back into the house to face Paige again. She didn't think things would ever go back to normal, but at least Paige didn't hate her. Jay's room would probably be vacant again soon too. Paige would have a room of her own. Before all this she knew Paige would have shared her room. She growled at her own stupidity, Jay was right she would be lucky if she made it through all this with Paige. When she opened the door she was greeted once again by the bag of ice Paige was insisting that she use on her forehead. Paige asked her to sit on the couch with her. So she sat down and pulled Paige into her lap. Alex wrapped her arms around Paige and leaned her head down on Paige's hair. She loved how Paige smelled, she loved how Paige felt pressed up against her. She would find a way to make it better, she had to. She was in love.


End file.
